Christ Invaded My Life and I Never Got Over It!

Once I was ignorant of spiritual things. I did not know much about Jesus Christ, other than the fact that He is the Son of God. But I did not know why He died on the cross. In my eyes, I was righteous enough to get into heaven, and I did not like it if someone tied to tell me that I was not. Christianity was all about being a good person. Or so I thought...until the Lord Jesus Christ invaded my life!

He opened my eyes to see my own wickedness and unworthiness. And it broke me. When I went into a rage, something I used to do frequently, it reminded me of my sinfulness. Not only was I an angry person, I was destroying myself by letting an eating disorder take over my life. I developed it while I was pursuing my own glory and greatness. I was not a good person, I was consumed by my own sin and "in the fire". But the Lord reached in the flames and plucked me out! And I never got over it. Even better, I never got over Him.

Christ died on the cross as a substitute so that sinners, like me, could be reconciled to God. And He did not have to do it either, but He chose to. Christ lived a perfect, sinless life (He is God after all) and died as a sacrifice for sin. And was buried, and on the third day He rose from the dead. He ascended into heaven...He is a living Savior! And He is faithful and loving, even when I am not.

I never got over the fact that He plucked me out of the fire. There were times when I was weak, but when the reality of His enduring faithfulness and mercy was revealed, it made me rejoice...

"Thank you dear Savior for being merciful and gracious to me even when I was a wretched sinner living for my own glory. Thank you for loving me even when I was your enemy. Thank you for taking the punishment I deserve by dying on the cross as my substitute. Thank you for giving me eyes to see you and adore you. Thank you for your sure promises and everlasting love. Thank you for invading my life and making me a "new creation"!

Saved By Grace Through Faith

Before I was adopted, I spent five years in a foster home. There my foster mom tried to fill my head with the idea that God is always watching me and is ready to punish me for any wrongdoing. She would never take us to church, except once. She would hardly go herself, but to play bingo Monday nights. She was Catholic, but I knew little about it. But another woman took us to her Catholic church occasionally...

I remember the first time being in her church. I was nervously looking around...some were kneeling, some prayed silently, others shouted Hail Marys, others held a rosary in their hand praying, and some were reading Bibles. I kneeled and tried to pray exactly like the woman a few pews ahead of me. Then suddenly, the priest told everyone where to flip to in the Bible and I helplessly flipped and flipped not knowing where to turn. It was so confusing, there were many books in the Bible and they were not in alphabetical order! I do not remember what happened afterwards, I just remember being confused and feeling all out of place.

On another occasion, at a church garage sale, I remember being given a rosary, and I simply began praying everyday...and made little effort to use the booklet that came along with it. It was just too confusing to pray the rosary.

When I was adopted, my parents introduced me to different churches. We settled on the Catholic church until the time came that my dad decided that my brother and I were going to go to the baptist church with him. But before that happened, I was in the Catholic church. There were two different Sunday school classes. One for those that were more "advanced" and the other for those of us who did not know much. I thought of it as the "dumb" Catholic Sunday school class. I thought that they believed that I did not have the ability to understand spiritual things and that they were making little effort to get me to that point. (It was true that I did not have the ability to understand spiritual things, I was unregenerate). But all I remember is that the advanced class had the good teacher and that my class did not seem as important.

Sooner or later, my mom tried to get me catechized in the Catholic church. The big deal was that I was a teenager and probably not baptized, nor did I have first communion, and the others my age were about to be confirmed. The others were about to receive another sacrament, and I was far behind. I remember being taught one on one with one of the "sisters" a few times. She kept on asking me "do you understand, do you understand" after she taught me something. I remember the time when she was trying to explain the Trinity and said it is hard to understand and in her normal fashion she asked, "do you understand". I said I did, remembering the time a few years ago when a church came to the shelter, or orphanage, and taught us about the Trinity. I think that my mom quit trying to get me catechized at some point, since I quit going.

But I continued to go and I remember looking at everyone going up to the priest to receive communion. We were not even allowed to get out of our pew. It made me feel sad. I used to cry in my room after church because of I could not take communion.

It was all I knew though. I even prayed to saints occasionally. Looking back at my experience in the Catholic church, I am filled with joy because I was saved by grace through faith after I began attending the baptist church! There I realized that I was a wretched sinner in need of Christ and trusted in Him alone for my salvation. Jesus Christ reached down and saved me...and I was regenerated. And I was not even baptized yet. He changed my affections and gave me a thirst for Him and righteousness. All I wanted to do was live for his glory!

Ephesians 2:1-10 "And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked...But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ--by grace you have been saved--and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus...For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."

Catholics and Uncertain Salvation

In my previous post, I talked about the Catholic sacrament of baptism, and that Catholics believe it is the first step in the salvation process. In fact they believe that baptism saves you. Now we are going into greater detail about the Catholic understanding of salvation. Upon doing more research, Catholics believe that Christ's death and resurrection make it possible for people to have the free will to cooperate with God's grace in order to be saved and that the vehicle by which people have access to "sanctifying grace" is through baptism (see here). Sanctifying grace is what "makes the soul holy" (see here). According to the Catholics, there is a sense that God gives grace to everyone because of Christ's death and resurrection, but "sanctifying grace" is given to the baptized. There are extreme cases in which baptism need not occur in order for someone to be saved; either by martyrdom before baptism or by dying while in preparation for baptism.

'But why all the "works" if all you need is baptism?' you ask. According to them, one needs to maintain their salvation or else they run the risk of losing it (see here). If the baptized fail to work out their own salvation then they may commit mortal sins, and lose their salvation. Or they may commit many venial sins, or forgivable sins, which weaken them and makes them more susceptible to committing mortal sins, or sins that "destroy the grace of God in the heart of the sinner". If I remember correctly, my Catholic mom said that a failure to attend Mass is a mortal sin. If one loses their salvation they must go to confession to get it back.

I did not know how vital confession is to the Catholics, since I did not know they believe that you can lose your salvation. I remember when I was a nominal Catholic, when my baptist friend tried to "save" me, I tried to assure her not to worry about me going to hell since I was probably baptized and I did believe that Jesus was the Son of God. In my mind, I was going to heaven so no one needed to try to save me. Additionally, I prayed every day anyhow, I thought, 'Who says I am not a Christian on my way to heaven'?

With all that being said, now I wonder what Catholics believe about the substitutionary atonement. If salvation by grace alone, by faith alone, in Christ alone is heresy to the Catholic church, then in my mind, that "nullifies" believing in Christ's substitutionary atonement. Christ died in the place of sinners: "For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God" (2 Cor 5:21). If Christ truly is our substitute, then His righteousness is imputed to the believer: Jesus is "the LORD our righteousness" (Jer 23:6). Also, Christians are assured of their ultimate salvation. We will one day be set free from sin (Rom 8:28-30). Additionally, in this present state God is sanctifying us. Christ's death and resurrection makes our salvation 100% paid for, that is, if He indeed is our substitute. I believe that Christ's intercession is justified because His atonement was 100% effectual for the salvation of those that believe (Rom 8:34; Heb 7:25). What do Catholics believe concerning the substitutionary atonement?

Understanding Catholic View of Salvation

It seems like the more I find out about what Catholics believe the more confused I get. Many of my relatives are Catholic but much of what they say just goes over my head. Recently I was somehow able to slip away for lunch with one of my aunts. In the process of our conversation, I was able to tell her a lot about what God was doing in my life. In the conversation, I mentioned grace and being gracious many times, but as of yesterday I found out that Catholics have a very different understanding of grace. So all my talk about about it, even in terms of showing grace to others, probably was interpreted very differently from what I thought I was saying.

First of all, sacraments! 'What are those?' you ask. Upon doing a little research, it appears to me that Catholics believe that sacraments are essential to salvation. There are seven sacraments; baptism, Eucharist, reconciliation, confirmation, marriage, holy orders, and anointing the sick. Not everyone "partakes", for lack of a better word, in all the sacraments. For example, not everyone holds a church office so not everyone partakes in the holy orders sacrament. The sacrament of interest that I want to go into more detail about is the sacrament of baptism...

I'm getting all jittery writing about Catholic doctrine...but it is too important not tell my fellow protestants. According to Catholics, through baptism, one becomes a member of the church. Not only that, the infant is brought into new life in Christ...regenerated! Yikes! 'How does that happen?' You ask. According to Catholics, in baptism guilt and Original Sin and personal sin are removed; the remission of all punishment because of sin occurs; grace is infused in the form of sanctifying grace; the baptized become part of Christ; and finally, baptism enables participation in the sacraments, the priesthood of all believers, and growth in grace. There is more but this gives a good synopsis on the matter. I found this here.

Catholics seem to believe that grace is something that is obtained by works and participation in the sacraments largely determine their "saved" or "unsaved" status before God. They have answers to tough questions like, 'What if my baby died before it was baptized?' and 'What about those that were martyred before they were baptized. But the main question I have is 'What does Christ have to do with it?' How exactly does Christ play into all this. They have answers for this and I will soon explore these as well.

Grace Angers

Once I told my grandfather, "I am so thankful for the grace that God has shown me", in the light of all God has been doing in my life lately. He quickly replied with a tone of disdain, "God gives grace to everyone". He sounded angry and I thought, 'Why the angry tone of voice? All I wanted to do was glorify God by sharing it with you!' I was so stunned by the unexpected reply that I wish I asked him, 'What do you believe about God's grace?' You see, my grandfather is Catholic, and I am not. In fact, I am what some people call a "Calvinist". I just think that I am a Christian that believes in "sovereign grace". Regardless of what my label is, that statement seemed to anger my Catholic grandfather. Grace angers people. People may be boiling with anger while I rejoice exceedingly because of it. I am beginning to think that one's reaction to grace is an indicator of their status before God, as either saved or unsaved.

I realize that Christians are at different places in the sanctification process, but regardless of where they are, they are thankful they are saved. They know that they did not deserve it, but Christ died for them anyway and He saved them. They know they were wretched sinners in need of a Savior. I also realize that there are differences of opinion concerning grace itself, for instance there are Calvinists and Arminians, but they rejoice that God was gracious to them.

But those that believe salvation is "grace plus works", or those that think salvation is entirely up to their works, scoff at the truth that we are saved by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone. I can picture someone now; getting all red in the face and angrily proclaiming, "Are you saying that my works do not have merit? How dare you! Do you even know what I have done? I faithfully go to church, I pray regularly, I give to the poor, and I even go on mission trips annually!" I wonder if this is the same attitude my grandfather has toward the truth about salvation being by grace alone. I wonder if he would even say, "My works matter! I am a faithful Catholic. I say my Hail Marys regularly, I go to confession, I never miss Mass, I have been a good father and husband, I give this much to the church, and I trust in the teachings of the Pope. You, a heretic, dare tell me that I am wrong!"

I know that the root of all God has been doing in my life lately is due to Him graciously opening my eyes more to the riches of His grace. I think that the difficulty with my parents, one is a Baptist the other is a Catholic, will culminate with me sharing with them what God has been doing in this regard. I expect that they would either rejoice or become very angry about it. It will either bring us closer together or it will divide us.

With Grace Comes Responsibility

God has been gracious and merciful to me. He saved me about eight years ago and has been faithful to me ever since. Beginning about two years ago, God has done so much to reveal to me more fully the riches of His glorious grace. God freed me from my bondage to man-made standards of how I should serve Him and taught me to trust in Him and follow wherever He leads, even if it did not make sense. Through all of that, God taught me to value Him above everything else, even more than my ministry. And on top of that, He taught me to love what He is doing in me to conform me to the image of Christ. Living by His grace and for His glory is the greatest thing I could be doing.

God has given me many gifts in the process, including a new church family and even a Christian campus group to be a part of. The greatest gift He has given me by far is my boyfriend. The gift of loving him and being loved by him is a precious gift. For about a year, we have helped each other grow in Christ and to love Him more deeply. There is so much bound up in these few short sentences about all that have experienced together: from the fun things like shooting guns to the many Sundays we worshiped together to the family get-togethers to our long meaningful conversations to our difficulties to the joy of serving the Lord together. And there is still more to enumerate, but in all that we experienced the love my boyfriend has shown me has been so evident. And I rejoice at the opportunities I have had to show him that I love him!

But with grace comes responsibility. God has been gracious to me, but it has not come without great difficulty. To say the least, not everyone is as joyful as I am about the gifts of grace God has given me. Some negative sentiment has been directed toward my decision to leave my former church and to go to the one I am currently attending. Someone even made an effort to get me to attend the Baptist Student Ministry on campus, rather than Reformed University Fellowship, even after I was happy attending RUF. This person even contacted some of the leaders in the BSM and told them to get a hold of me and invite to go. But those efforts do not compare with the current efforts to manipulate the outcome of my relationship with my boyfriend. It seems like they want me to be "blessed" on their terms, not Gods. They may not even see it that way. They probably think their "terms" are best and do not see that they are contradictory to what God is doing in my life. It is difficult to be around this person and anyone else close to them. In short, it is a very difficult time in my life. I am determined to show my boyfriend I love him by handling this situation righteously. More importantly, to show my love for the Lord and to bring Him glory in this difficulty. That requires the grace of God. Without God's grace this situation can blow up at any second unnecessarily. I say unnecessarily because the situation may even blow up even if I handle it righteously! I just do not want it to be related to anything sinful thing I have done, for that would dishonor the Lord.

With grace comes the responsibility to extend that grace to others, even if they are the most difficult and ornery people on the planet. I no longer trust the "ornery and difficult" person in my life, but that does not exempt me from extending grace to them.